


It's Okay

by 46captain46



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: I'm so sad, M/M, nothing else, this is just angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-07-15
Packaged: 2018-12-02 14:12:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11511069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/46captain46/pseuds/46captain46
Summary: Some things just can't be forgotten. Especially feelings.Kind of John's POV.





	It's Okay

**Author's Note:**

> I was really fucking sad. That's my only excuse.

He looks at you with pleading eyes. He begs for forgiveness without uttering a word and yet you know all the things he wants you to.

You nod. And smile.

“It’s okay.” Whispers the mind to your heart. “It’s okay.”

_I understand._ Your eyes say to him and your heart beats in your chest, every contraction making it bleed more.

_I understand._

_But the pain will still be here._

He nods. He turns his back to you.

He walks towards the Scuyler.  One. Two. Three. Her eyes light up. How can they not?

_This is it._

_This is the end._

You turn your head and you’re no longer facing them. You turn your head and you contemplate leaving the ball and going home. Where you’ll be left alone to grieve your broken heart.

It’s still bleeding.

You can’t leave. You’ve always been with him and he needs you. He’s made it clear from the beginning.

You stay. Because he needs you to.

Because you love him.

Months pass. He’s married now. You’re happy for him. He has a family.

The war has started. You fight more and more every day.

More fiercely, more recklessly.

They often ask you if you have a death wish.

You never answer.

The news come. Eliza is expecting a child. Alexander is overjoyed. You find some alcohol that night and you celebrate. You’re in the middle of a war and yet these wounds hurt more than the physical ones.

You just hope the burn is enough to dull the pain.

It’s not.

Your heart is still bleeding. Your mind is still trying to convince you that you’re not just an empty corpse.

_It’s not okay._ You admit to yourself at night and the tears are silent when they come.

It’s not okay.

When your last breath leaves your lips while laying on your death bed, with Alexander miles away from you, your last though is him.

_Goodbye, my love._

_I hope you’ll remember me from time to time._


End file.
